A Discussion to Help Keep “Child’s Play” Safe and Appropriate in Your Community Parks

The community playground serves as a gathering place where children can be active and build their imagination through social interaction and physical activity. Play time is fundamental to stimulate their own growth and learning- but what happens when they get over-stimulated and start to clash between other kids or even adults?

Over the years, some have seen the sight of playgrounds and community parks as less of a place of joy, and more of a hub for drug and crime activity. This negative influence could play a factor in behavioral environments of children, because kids WILL reenact what they see and hear. Another case to consider is that of bullying, and because the children have had over a year without at least moderate interaction with multiple kids, their social structure and interpersonal communication has been heavily affected. Bullying (especially cyberbullying- which takes place online) contributes to the overall mental anxiety that many children are already struggling with every day.

The playground is meant to be a place to release that anxiety, and simply let them unleash that energy built up inside- turning tension into creativity and movement. However, some kids find that interaction to be a challenge. They begin to exhibit behaviors that are part of their normal mentality- impatience, frustration, anger, jealousy, etc. Those negative responses can have serious consequences whether it happens at the park, in school, or at other public facilities. By working together with the children and other parents in your community, you have the power to build more positive momentum to ensure safe and appropriate behavior.

Consider these facts:

• Every 7 minutes a child is bullied at the playground.
• The rate of an adult interaction during a bullying episode is 4%
• The rate of a peer getting involved during a situation is 11%
• No interaction or involvement at all stands at a solid 85%

(STOMP Out Bullying, 2021)

The message here? We HAVE to be more proactive in getting involved and actively teaching our children essential positive behaviors. Especially from an early age, it is critical to emphasize to children the importance of manners, proper social identification, and responsible awareness of one’s property (toys, clothing, food, etc.)

So what can we do to help ensure safer playgrounds and safer behavior for our kids?

As Parents… Your primary responsibility as a parent is teaching your child right from wrong. Be a positive role model by engaging with your kids through role-playing scenarios and have open discussions about the other kids they are playing with. Be observant of not just your child’s behavior, but the other children as well. While at the playground, be quick to let your child know if they are acting inappropriately and offer solutions to correct their behavior and/or end the situation before others get seriously hurt.

As Teachers… At school, your role is critical to ensure the safety and well-being of all children. Being a teacher goes beyond the classroom, and that means stepping in when a child showcases troubling behaviors to themselves and others. Watch out for playground violence that can entice physical conflict such as pushing, kicking, hitting and misuse of equipment. That equipment is part of school property and you are obligated to step in and break up any involvement of violent behavior. If these behaviors are out of suspicion for abuse or mistreatment at home, you are obligated to speak with supportive staff at your school regarding any policies for reporting to the authorities or other designated personnel.

As Child Care Providers… Very similar to the teachers, you are a key piece in this puzzle of playground safety and behavioral management. While these children are in your care, your duty is to ensure their conduct is maintained and communicated to the parents (or legal guardians) when the problems continue to escalate. Be sure not to focus your attention on just one or two children- establish rules and expectations that apply to the entire group you are caring for.

As Neighbors or Good Samaritans… In either of these cases, you may find yourself in the great debate of “take action” or “watch and observe”. As humans, we tend to feel that we want to do the right thing, but too often neglect to take that next step. Your opportunity here is to show awareness that you see what’s going on and you want to help because you care. If you see children that appear to be fighting and making physical advances to each other or surrounding kids, it’s ok to jump in to break up the altercation. If necessary, call the police and explain the situation. If parents or caregivers are nearby and notice your interaction with the kids, use it as an opportunity to engage and emphasize how their behavior was concerning, and that you intervened only out of caution and good will. When we can educate other adults, as well as the children, it truly will make a positive and lasting impact.

What this all really boils down to is communication. How we communicate with the children, and how we communicate with other adults keeps everyone connected so that our kids can feel safe and secure wherever they want to play. More adult engagement benefits the children in so many ways, and if done right, it can have a lasting impact as they get older. When the playgrounds eventually turn into the workplace, they will be able to exhibit more respectful and positive behaviors around others- but that initial footprint begins when we step up to remind kids that how we value ourselves is just as important as the value of others.

Keep the conversation going by talking to children about their feelings, how others are treating them, what they can do to inspire more playful and engaging activities at the playground to help everyone feel inclusive. It may seem like small steps today, but they can easily turn into bigger leaps for tomorrow.

To learn more about how you can engage with your children for more positive, respectful, and age-appropriate behaviors, check out our Early Talk resources for free, exclusively from #stopdvsa.

Children express a variety of behaviors as they learn and mature, but when they experience trauma at an early age it becomes a whole new conversation.

Our kids can bring a lot of joy and light to our lives, but it can bring such pain to see them struggle. Children who have been subjected to violence, abuse, or other traumatic events often develop various behaviors and reactions that will appear unusual and concerning. Understanding and helping your child cope with their delicate situation requires you to comprehend the what’s and why’s of their actions. Let’s talk about some of the behaviors and effects your child may be experiencing and how you can help them.

Your child may be experiencing some of the following situations as a result of their trauma:

• Difficulty sleeping (restless, nightmares, fatigue, etc.)
• Developing a lack of interest
• Anger-related episodes
• Stress
• Depression/Personality shifts
• Difficulty establishing trust
• Explicit use of sexual knowledge, terms, and behaviors

If you’ve noticed your child displaying any of these characteristics, it is important that you address them immediately and do not ignore the signs. By addressing these issues on all levels (emotional, physical, verbal) you can open the door of communication to the child, offering a safe place for expression. Being an advocate in prevention, positive communication, and education means you are taking the extra step to help a child heal.

Each scenario is different. A child may not be suffering through as much mental trauma as other kids, if that’s the case- that’s ok too. Every child will react and respond to their case in their own unique way. Your opportunity here is to engage with them for their safety, and as a point of confidence to let them know they are not alone in their healing.

Age is another important factor to consider. Younger children may re-enact their experience during play time, while older children may take on more serious behaviors. Pay close attention in the way they reference their bodies (and others too). If they start using more derogatory terms or displaying inappropriate characteristics in their activities, then it’s time to step up and take action. Consult with professionals or other local resources for strategies to help you communicate to your children about these behaviors using age-sensitive discussions.

Finally, the most important takeaway from all of this is to be completely supportive of your child. Your care and compassion will serve as the guiding force in their continuing development moving forward. Make sure your child gets as much mental and physical support as possible early on- this can help offset the potential for other conditions to develop such as post-traumatic stress disorder. Even more concerning, sometimes these disorders can act as the catalyst for more problematic behaviors down the road like drug abuse or developing suicidal thoughts, if left unnoticed. Don’t let these mental breakdowns cause long-term complications for your children. Take the necessary steps to ensure they have every option to seek help and guidance when they need it most.

With your help, you can secure a brighter future for your child, even coming out of a place of darkness and confusion. Getting educated yourself about the potential effects traumatic events can have on a child will allow you to step into a position of safety, comfort, and reasoning amid your child’s healing process. The level of severity your child may face will vary, but with the supportive and reliable resources in your hands, you will be able to help your child feel safe and valued again.

Talking To Your Children About Domestic Violence During COVID-19

While our society continues to fight the ongoing battle against COVID-19, there is still the continuous struggle in taking a stand against another pandemic: Domestic Violence and Abuse. October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month- but this simply cannot be limited to just these 31 days alone. Especially now that we all are finding new ways to adapt to different levels of living, working, and learning for the time being. We need to take the time to explain to our children not just the importance of public safety, but personal, situational safety.

Dedicate time to sit down with your kids and ask them important questions like, “Do you know what the word “consent” means?” or “Have you seen or experienced anything recently that you’re afraid to talk about?”. Kids don’t like to be lectured, so make your conversations open and personable. They’re more likely to understand and respond to your questions and concerns if they feel that you want to discuss rather than preach. Some topics are hard to question, and when it comes down to facts- there’s no sugar-coating things, but children interpret life differently. Be honest, be sincere, and just be there for them. 

One of the growing concerns right now for advocates against Domestic Violence in 2020, is that the repercussions of the pandemic might be preventing people from seeking out help and crucial resources. This is another reason why it’s important to talk with your children early on about these difficult subjects. Teaching children about signs, advocacy, and awareness is not only good for their well-being, but it may also help benefit someone else. Children, especially at a young age, are very prone to pay more attention to the actions of others. Educate them that if they see something that looks wrong then it is up to them to tell a responsible adult about that situation. Their recognition just may save a life, all because they knew what to do and when to do it.

The opportunity here is to recognize that while we may be taking extra precautions to stop the spread of COVID-19, violence and abuse never takes a break. We’re spending more time at home- which can be dangerous on its own- and our children deserve to be taught, and have their voice heard when they feel uncomfortable. Talk and Listen! Be their shining light during the pandemic, because the best weapon we have right now to fight both pandemics is HOPE.