Some things are more important than titles and medals- confidence and self-respect

The Tokyo 2020 Olympics are happening right now and while the world’s eyes are on one incredibly talented member of the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics team, there’s another reason to find inspiration from this amazing young woman.

Simone Biles, honorably given the title of “Greatest Of All Time”, stands not just as an Olympic champion, but a champion for sexual assault victims. Her story came forward in 2018 in a shocking movement that stunned the world, but for those in the sexual abuse and trauma communities, it was a story they were all too familiar with.

In hearing the stories from survivors, advocates, and even other celebrities impacted by sexual abuse, there is a constant voice that continues to speak out letting others know that the time is always right to speak up. Change is possible, and change will occur but only if those who are willing to fight for it remain dedicated to living this truth.

Overcoming the fear, and finding the courage to speak up is one of the biggest obstacles that survivors face. The initial struggle to tell their story, and share it with the right person is part of the process. Especially if you are in a position of high influence and notable achievement, this cannot be an easy discussion to have. In past interviews, Biles claimed she was afraid to talk to others about what happened to her, and even her family noticed that some was wrong- but she neglected to discuss it. Finally when Biles came forward in 2018, her words became an inspiring beacon of hope to those who had also been tormented by sexual assault and sexual abuse.

Her journey to move past the pain and frustration of her trauma only pushed her further into performance and passion for gymnastics. She even remarked in a recent interview, that she felt she HAD to come back as proof of being a survivor and to show the world what it means to overcome those fears.

Defining confidence and protecting your own self-respect are two of the best ways to rise above your own experiences, and show the world that you are unstoppable. Your voice cannot be silenced, and you must take the steps to ensure those responsible are held accountable.  Biles has continued to pursue her dreams, and is making sure that her life does not remain empty and without joy. She has found a way to keep striving and thriving- an important message for all survivors.

Once you have been able to successfully make your story known and share it with the others- your next step is to continue to fulfill your personal legacy by moving forward. Utilize your talents whether it’s balancing beams, perfecting culinary delights, or teaching the next generation- do not let the past define your future. Instead, let it inspire you!

If the G.O.A.T. can turn heads by showing the world how hard work, perseverance, and commitment can impact an Olympic icon, imagine what your story can do to inspire thousands of individuals to put their fear aside, speak up, and achieve more. Believe in yourself, and the ability to comeback from obstacles (no matter how difficult), and the Gold will always be yours.

Discover how to rebuild and empower your life moving forward

The trauma that can be felt as a result of sexual assault is one of the most painful and difficult feelings to overcome. It’s a sense of feeling broken, violated, and incomplete. Recovering and healing takes time, but throughout the process you begin to regain control and feel a sense of self-worth.

What is important is that you take each step slow and along the way find new avenues to channel your emotions while you try to find balance and feel secure again. Our advocates, and other trauma professionals often recognize that some survivors struggle with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and Depression. This is not uncommon, and while these after-effects can create brutal strains on everything from relationships to workplace performance, it is critical to seek out professional counsel.

Coming to terms with your experience, and releasing the thoughts of shame, helplessness, and blame are some of the most defining moments you’ll have in the recovery process. Do not let the past hold you back from the happiness that is waiting for you in the rest of your life. From the pain and darkness, you can rise into a new vision of strength and courage.

Here’s a few steps you can utilize in your journey to rebuild your self-esteem, regain confidence, and express your feelings:

• Don’t be afraid to talk about what happened to you. Find someone you can trust to talk to when you need it or even consider joining a support group where you can make a difference for others, just as they can help you too.
• Come to terms with your feelings of guilt and shame. What happened to you was not your fault, and any other misconceptions that may be running through your head are simply tiny voices that you don’t need to listen to. When you keep questioning yourself about the why’s and what if’s, it’s only going to lead you into more distress.
• Be prepared for traumatic triggers. Your body and your mind will occasionally bring back flashbacks and upsetting memories if prompted. This can come in a variety of forms, sometimes without notice, but over time (and with a little help) you can train yourself to help manage those tensions if you feel them coming on. Research different soothing and calming techniques to help control your mind and body before it overwhelms you.
• Pay close attention to your physical and emotional well-being. Don’t try to numb the pain through unconventional outlets like drugs or alcohol. Instead take unique measures to empower yourself through movement and energy. Many people find activities like meditation, yoga, dancing, or even cardio as a way to channel that anxiety into momentum that is great exercise for the body and soul.
• Continue to engage in socialization. Stay connected with friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors who can continue to be a positive, and supportive force in your healing. Find the joy in reconnecting with people who share some of the interests and dreams as you, because that kind of inspiration will only strengthen your recovery.
• Don’t avoid self-care! Keeping up with good nutrition and exercise is the best way to help your body refresh every single day. Make sure you get good, healthy rest too because your body still needs that time to relax. Don’t let the anxiety of the past stand in the way of a bright, healthy future for you.

These are just a small sample of some of the steps you can take in your own path to feeling whole again. Sexual Assault, like many traumatic events, changes you and while today you may realize just how much hurt there is in that pain, there is also a spark of hope waiting to be revealed. Coping with the aftermath of sexual assault is not an easy adjustment, and it can have lifelong effects on the type of person you are- but you cannot allow it to define you or your future. You don’t have to hide it. Instead let it motivate you and uplift your spirit to become so much more.

What is a civil protective order?

It’s a document issued by a court to help you protect yourself from someone who is abusing or harassing you. 

What can a civil protective order do?

Every state is different, but in many places, a protective order can require an abuser to:

• Stay away from you at home, at work and anywhere you go. A protective order can also prohibit the abuser from contacting you by phone, fax, mail, email or through another person.

• Move out if you live together. You can ask that a law enforcement officer be on the scene when the abuser collects their belongings to ensure your safety.

• Give you temporary custody of your children. This generally lasts until the court makes a final decision about custody. 

But a protective order can’t guarantee your safety.

An abuser can be arrested for violating the order, but it is not always possible to prevent a violation.

Advocates can answer questions like:

• What a protective order can and can’t do for you.

• What procedure to follow for getting a protective order in your area.

• Where and how to fill out the forms to file.

• An advocate can help you collect and provide details of the abusive treatment you suffered.

• After the order is filed you will have a hearing, an advocate can be present to support you through the court process.

What happens next?

The abuser is served a copy of the petition for the protective order. The court will schedule a hearing and order law enforcement to deliver the protective order and hearing date to the Defendant. The hearing will be held in 5 – 15 days after you submit your petition to the Clerk of Court.