School is starting up again, here’s what our teachers and educators need to be aware of as students make the return to the classroom

In March of 2020, our world began to turn upside down as businesses began closing doors, events started cancelling, and school made the unprecedented shift to virtual and hybrid learning models. It was a time of confusion, frustration, and uncertainty for all- but for some another word came to mind: fear (and not just fear of COVID-19).

With families being forced to stay inside and transition to learning and working from home, there was a great fear of abuse at home occurring with little to no awareness being noticed. Especially for our children, this caused a lot of mental and physical trauma that went unseen due to the quarantines and stay-at-home orders. Now that schools are reopening their doors and families are making plans to send their kids back to school in-person, let’s share a few important notes to help our teachers and education professionals be aware and alert for this upcoming school year.

The Iowa Department of Human Services notes the following in establishing motive to investigate suspected child abuse:

• The victim is a child (anyone under the age of 18)
• The child is subjected to one or more of the categories of child abuse defined in Iowa Code section 232.68:
  • Physical abuse
  • Mental injury
  • Sexual abuse
  • Child prostitution
  • Presence of illegal drugs in a child’s body
  • Denial of critical care
  • Dangerous substance
  • Bestiality in the presence of a child
  • Allows access to a registered sex offender
  • Allows access to obscene materials
  • Child Sex Trafficking

Teachers should carefully observe behaviors and physical signs that could potentially be linked to any of these categories. These signs are often discussed in more detail through credited trainings for schools and leaders, but these are a few of the most recognized signals:

• bruises, unusual marks, and cuts
• reoccurring broken bones or other major physical injuries
• burns (regardless of location or size)
• unusual discretion around adults
• missing class often
• accident-proneness
• inability to focus or pay attention
• poor academic performance
• increased agitation or anxiety
• hanging around school before and after class
• poor peer relationships

Our educators are trained to have best interests when it comes to a child’s well-being, so it is critically important for them to be active in these situations. In fact, did you know that teachers in all 50 states are required to report reasonable suspicions by law? If you are employed by a school district or other facility, talk to your administrators about how to report these suspicions, and ensure you are following all legal guidelines and school protocols.

Make sure other teachers and child care staff in your district/program complete any necessary trainings, certifications, and workshops pertaining to child abuse. These are often essential requirements to ensure all individuals are aware of current regulations, procedures, and measures to protect the child. Keep everyone up to date on trends, warning signs, and active steps for awareness. Taking those extra steps in professional development will not only benefit your educational experience, but it will provide concerned families peace of mind knowing their children’s safety is in caring and knowledgeable hands.

Prevention is going to be the biggest advocate in your district’s ability to aide in the efforts against abuse. Consider bringing in advocates and training consultants from government agencies or other abuse survivor-targeted groups to educate your staff on signs, legal obligations, and intervention strategies. These sessions can be very proactive with parents and legal guardians as well. Prevention is a community-involved initiative, so having the support branches to keep everyone informed and engaged is a benefit not only for the school, but for everyone.

To our teachers, child care and educational professionals, the main message here is that we strongly urge you to be engaged in connecting with all community tools, government agencies, and local nonprofits. These organizations are here to guide you and will provide you with all of the information you need for recognition, awareness, and action against abuse. Fulfill your requirements and obligations to ensure you know the steps to take if you suspect any abusive activity with a child in your class or group. This upcoming school year, don’t just focus on grades- add awareness to your own curriculum!

Discover how to rebuild and empower your life moving forward

The trauma that can be felt as a result of sexual assault is one of the most painful and difficult feelings to overcome. It’s a sense of feeling broken, violated, and incomplete. Recovering and healing takes time, but throughout the process you begin to regain control and feel a sense of self-worth.

What is important is that you take each step slow and along the way find new avenues to channel your emotions while you try to find balance and feel secure again. Our advocates, and other trauma professionals often recognize that some survivors struggle with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and Depression. This is not uncommon, and while these after-effects can create brutal strains on everything from relationships to workplace performance, it is critical to seek out professional counsel.

Coming to terms with your experience, and releasing the thoughts of shame, helplessness, and blame are some of the most defining moments you’ll have in the recovery process. Do not let the past hold you back from the happiness that is waiting for you in the rest of your life. From the pain and darkness, you can rise into a new vision of strength and courage.

Here’s a few steps you can utilize in your journey to rebuild your self-esteem, regain confidence, and express your feelings:

• Don’t be afraid to talk about what happened to you. Find someone you can trust to talk to when you need it or even consider joining a support group where you can make a difference for others, just as they can help you too.
• Come to terms with your feelings of guilt and shame. What happened to you was not your fault, and any other misconceptions that may be running through your head are simply tiny voices that you don’t need to listen to. When you keep questioning yourself about the why’s and what if’s, it’s only going to lead you into more distress.
• Be prepared for traumatic triggers. Your body and your mind will occasionally bring back flashbacks and upsetting memories if prompted. This can come in a variety of forms, sometimes without notice, but over time (and with a little help) you can train yourself to help manage those tensions if you feel them coming on. Research different soothing and calming techniques to help control your mind and body before it overwhelms you.
• Pay close attention to your physical and emotional well-being. Don’t try to numb the pain through unconventional outlets like drugs or alcohol. Instead take unique measures to empower yourself through movement and energy. Many people find activities like meditation, yoga, dancing, or even cardio as a way to channel that anxiety into momentum that is great exercise for the body and soul.
• Continue to engage in socialization. Stay connected with friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors who can continue to be a positive, and supportive force in your healing. Find the joy in reconnecting with people who share some of the interests and dreams as you, because that kind of inspiration will only strengthen your recovery.
• Don’t avoid self-care! Keeping up with good nutrition and exercise is the best way to help your body refresh every single day. Make sure you get good, healthy rest too because your body still needs that time to relax. Don’t let the anxiety of the past stand in the way of a bright, healthy future for you.

These are just a small sample of some of the steps you can take in your own path to feeling whole again. Sexual Assault, like many traumatic events, changes you and while today you may realize just how much hurt there is in that pain, there is also a spark of hope waiting to be revealed. Coping with the aftermath of sexual assault is not an easy adjustment, and it can have lifelong effects on the type of person you are- but you cannot allow it to define you or your future. You don’t have to hide it. Instead let it motivate you and uplift your spirit to become so much more.

Talking To Your Children About Domestic Violence During COVID-19

While our society continues to fight the ongoing battle against COVID-19, there is still the continuous struggle in taking a stand against another pandemic: Domestic Violence and Abuse. October is recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month- but this simply cannot be limited to just these 31 days alone. Especially now that we all are finding new ways to adapt to different levels of living, working, and learning for the time being. We need to take the time to explain to our children not just the importance of public safety, but personal, situational safety.

Dedicate time to sit down with your kids and ask them important questions like, “Do you know what the word “consent” means?” or “Have you seen or experienced anything recently that you’re afraid to talk about?”. Kids don’t like to be lectured, so make your conversations open and personable. They’re more likely to understand and respond to your questions and concerns if they feel that you want to discuss rather than preach. Some topics are hard to question, and when it comes down to facts- there’s no sugar-coating things, but children interpret life differently. Be honest, be sincere, and just be there for them. 

One of the growing concerns right now for advocates against Domestic Violence in 2020, is that the repercussions of the pandemic might be preventing people from seeking out help and crucial resources. This is another reason why it’s important to talk with your children early on about these difficult subjects. Teaching children about signs, advocacy, and awareness is not only good for their well-being, but it may also help benefit someone else. Children, especially at a young age, are very prone to pay more attention to the actions of others. Educate them that if they see something that looks wrong then it is up to them to tell a responsible adult about that situation. Their recognition just may save a life, all because they knew what to do and when to do it.

The opportunity here is to recognize that while we may be taking extra precautions to stop the spread of COVID-19, violence and abuse never takes a break. We’re spending more time at home- which can be dangerous on its own- and our children deserve to be taught, and have their voice heard when they feel uncomfortable. Talk and Listen! Be their shining light during the pandemic, because the best weapon we have right now to fight both pandemics is HOPE.

What is a civil protective order?

It’s a document issued by a court to help you protect yourself from someone who is abusing or harassing you. 

What can a civil protective order do?

Every state is different, but in many places, a protective order can require an abuser to:

• Stay away from you at home, at work and anywhere you go. A protective order can also prohibit the abuser from contacting you by phone, fax, mail, email or through another person.

• Move out if you live together. You can ask that a law enforcement officer be on the scene when the abuser collects their belongings to ensure your safety.

• Give you temporary custody of your children. This generally lasts until the court makes a final decision about custody. 

But a protective order can’t guarantee your safety.

An abuser can be arrested for violating the order, but it is not always possible to prevent a violation.

Advocates can answer questions like:

• What a protective order can and can’t do for you.

• What procedure to follow for getting a protective order in your area.

• Where and how to fill out the forms to file.

• An advocate can help you collect and provide details of the abusive treatment you suffered.

• After the order is filed you will have a hearing, an advocate can be present to support you through the court process.

What happens next?

The abuser is served a copy of the petition for the protective order. The court will schedule a hearing and order law enforcement to deliver the protective order and hearing date to the Defendant. The hearing will be held in 5 – 15 days after you submit your petition to the Clerk of Court.